How to recover from estrangement
- Tina Freemantle
- Apr 2, 2024
- 3 min read
I'm often asked if recovering from estrangement is possible.
You can recover from estrangement, even thouht it's not straightforward.\
Here are seven ways that make recovering from estrangement a reality:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: First things first, it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. Whether you're feeling angry, hurt, or sad. You should know, know that it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling. Estrangement is a complex and often painful experience, and it's normal to have a range of emotions about it. Not everyone will understand because they haven’t lived through what you have.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve: Estrangement can feel like a loss—a loss of connection, of love, of the family you once knew. And like any loss, it's important to give yourself time to grieve. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, the anger, the emptiness. Lean into those emotions, rather than pushing them away. Grieving is a natural part of the healing process, and it's okay to take all the time you need. If you suppress your emotions, they will hurt you in the long term.
Set Boundaries: Boundaries are your best friend when it comes to healing from family estrangement. Whether it's limiting contact with the estranged family member, setting ground rules for communication, or establishing clear boundaries around what you will and won't tolerate, boundaries can help protect your emotional well-being and create a sense of safety and control.
Focus on Self-Care: Now more than ever, self-care is crucial. Make time for activities that bring you joy and comfort, whether it's spending time with friends, indulging in your favourite hobbies, or simply taking a long, relaxing bath. Nourish your body, mind, and soul, and prioritise your well-being above all else. Give yourself the time that you never had to heal.
Seek Support: You don't have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist for support. Surround yourself with people who understand and validate your experiences, and who can offer an ear without judgement when you need it most. Support groups or online communities can also be valuable sources of connection and understanding.
Practice Forgiveness (If You're Ready): Forgiveness isn't always easy, but it can be a powerful tool for healing. That being said, forgiveness is a personal journey, and it's important to only forgive when you're truly ready and willing to do so. Remember, forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean reconciling with the estranged family member or condoning their behaviour—it simply means letting go of the anger and resentment that's been weighing you down. It helps you release the grip that estrangement has over you.
Focus on the Present and Future: Finally, focus on the present moment and the future ahead. While the pain of estrangement may never fully go away, it doesn't have to define you. Embrace the opportunities for growth and self-discovery that come with healing from family estrangement, and look forward to building a life filled with love, joy, and fulfilment.
Essentially recovering from estrangment is a journey and it’s not always straightforward. But by acknowledging your feelings, giving yourself time to grieve, setting boundaries, prioritising self-care, seeking support, practising forgiveness (if you're ready), and focusing on the present and future, you can begin to move forward and reclaim your sense of peace and happiness. Remember, you're not alone on this journey. The fastest way to heal is to seek help from someone who understands what it’s like to be estranged from family. I’ve been there and I know that you can heal.
If this resonates, and you're ready to recover from estrangement, send me a DM and we can talk about what you’re going through and see how I can help you move forward with strength, purpose and joy.
Regardless of whether estrangement can be considered a form of abuse, it; is often very complex and touches deep-seated emotions and personal experiences.
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